If any of you have read some of my previous blog posts, you may know that I started University on the 20th September in Manchester.
Throughout year 13 I had become pretty adamant about going to Uni. I can't help but feel they sort of brainwashed everyone into thinking that it was the only option and that it was the key to success. The few weeks before started, I began getting super nervous about it and started questioning whether it was really the right thing for me to do. I even started having doubts about the 'International Fashion Promotion' course I opted to study as it is so specific and wasn't going to keep my options very open. As soon as I arrived at the halls I was staying at, I knew it wasn't right. The accommodation was basically an enclosed circle of building.. I don't know if that makes sense but whatever room you were in, if you looked out your window, you could just see everyone else's (bad description but to put it simply it felt like a prison as it was so enclosed). Despite this, my Mum persuaded me to just try it for at least one night. That way, even if I left, I would never have that 'what if I stayed' possibility in my head.
My Mum and brother helped me move all my stuff in and then left. I soon after met my flat mates. I know this was very unlucky but they couldn't have been more the opposite of me! They were into indie music, fantasy/sci-fi films, and they slated pretty much anything I said. I know that they were just the people in my flat but it really didn't get me off to a good start. Something else which for some reason I hadn't even thought about before was the idea of the communal kitchen. I don't really feel comfortable cooking meals in front of an audience which resulted in me eating tins of cold beans in my room.
The following morning, I woke up and called my Mum in tears. I couldn't cope with it. My course only involved 13 hours of contact time a week, so what on Earth was I going to do for the rest of it? (and why on Earth was that going to cost me £9,000 a year?!). The prospect of spending most of my time cooped up in my little uni room with barely any money made me feel so trapped and isolated. I just felt like a tiny spec in such a huge place, so lonely. After spending the day in tears, my Mum agreed to come and collect me the next day so that I could withdraw from the University.
I know some people may be thinking, you were only there for a couple of days, you should have given it more of a chance? I can honestly say that I know so many people love University and the whole experience, but I know for a fact that it just isn't for me. I have decided that I'm going to study for my degree from home. This also will allow me to work at the same time which means a) I will be earning money and b) I will be able to gain work experience, all at the same time as gaining a degree. I know this wouldn't appeal to people who love the idea of Uni life, but for me this sounds like the perfect option.